Wednesday, April 05, 2006
The Band Tightens - about to SNAP
I've been feeling pretty kruddy lately emotionally and physically.
There is so much pain and anguish going on in our lives right now.
We pray and we ask for knowledge of God's will for our lives and what direction He wants us to go. I am doing more things WRONG than right. Trying to maintain Faith.
I am a sinner, I know that and GOD knows it. I have asked to be forgiven.
I have behaved badly and NOY lioke the person God wants me to be.
The depression, the "being out of control" of Jeannies illness and so many other things.
I miss the children and find myself Worrying about them, ALL of them. EACH of them - That includes my grandchildren that know me very little and none at all. J - Katie - Kristie, Becca, John, Andrew and Will and , of course our graduating MHS Senior AMANDA.
then, John being on active duty in the type of duty he is performing.
It hurts, it hurts sooooooo much.
I can only carry so much, then I break !! I must not be tuned in.
Amanda has taken Jeannie to her Dr appointment tonight.
Will is spending the week ( or most of it ) with his Grandparents in Marietta.
Callaway Gardens yesterday, and Zoo today - tomorrow they're going fishing.
He was supposed to go th Louisiana this week, but because of me. He's not going.
He's not going because I became ill last week
1 Gall stone and 2 Kidney stones -
Last Monday 3/27 I was driving to work - I barely made it to the office and
911 was called and I went to the Emergency Room. Paramedics first thought symptoms were a burst appendix. Not so,
CAT scan showed 2 kidney stones too large to pass. Dr put a stint in and determined I had a serious kidney infection and the surgery was impossible until infection cleared. I was in constant pain for as few days and came home. I go back to the Hospital for the LITHOTRIPSY and stint removal on Monday the tenth. The Dr wouldn't release me because of the infection and antibiotics. I couldn't drive with the medication I am on.
I talked to Will Friday afternoon, thinking they were leaving for Louisiana on Saturday. He told me he wasn't going. I asked "Why Not, son" ? All he said was "BECAUSE OF YOU!!"
Right now, I am between surgeries. I did a Pre-op yesterday for Mondays' surgery.
I was conscious enough Friaday to request my Dr to see me for a check up for the infection and to schedule the LITHOTRIPSY. I told the Drs office to send that information to my work place as a matter in information etc ....
If I had to give advice about work: I would tell you "NEVER work for anyone that has never had a family or children." They just don't seem to get it.