NEW SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY

NEW SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY:
The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element.
A major research institution has recentlyannounced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.
The new element has been named Governmentium.

Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputyneutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of312.These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, whichare surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can bedetected, because it impedes every reaction with whic h it comes intocontact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that wouldnormally take less than a second to take over four days to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; It does not decay,but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact,Governmentium's Mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believethat Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.