Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Where and When to Begin - 02/24/05

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Where and When to Begin
Now that I have opened the door, looked in and decided to step through I see shelves and shelves of cans.Which can of worms shall I open first? The cans are not necessarily filled with worms. Though certainly there are some squirming rampantly.Shall I do this Chronologically? at Random? I can't seem to decide. I was told once upon a time how wonderfully organized I was. Well, SURPRISE !! I am not. Perhaps, in a former stage in my life out of professional necessity, I used to be organized. I am no longer. Perhaps I was a prisoner to the notion of being "in control" and "on top of my game" though as I see it now I am FREE of that notion.
Who and what was I trying to impress in those days? They, (whoever the nameless "they" may have been) didn't love me back, ever and didn't really care about me and in the long run chewed me up, spit me out, burned me up and out.It was a real deep hurt that you get when something you believe in, that becomes a big part of you, almost defines you and it leaves you. I'm not talking marital divorce here. Divorce in the marital sense, is worse - much worse.Feeling are somewhat similar, sort of, but magnified astronomically by those that lay forever in the wake. I really loved my work as a Professional Scouter in the BSA. I believed in it. I think I was pretty good at it. I made some lifelong friends along the way.
Walter "Bucky" Patrick, probably one of the most talented, hardworking, and one of the most genuinely good natured persons I have known. A fine man, a great father and devoted loving husband of Ruth.

I had a role model in Charlie Bethea. (who you'll hear more about later) and the concepts and principles of the Oath and Laws.
I couldn't find myself compromising the movement for the notion of making someone else "look good". It went against the first Law and it made me sick. I didn't expect to do it, but it appears I took a can off the shelf and dropped it. There are a few loose worms out of the can. I gathered them up and put that can back on the shelf to be visited later, I am certain.I digress-- (BUT THAT WAS IMPORTANT as the opportunity presented itself) .Back to the organize thing = If you don't believe me, consider the condition of my notorius "back room". I have been saying for the past few years that I am going to organize that storage room. That would be a story in itself.NOW, There is an idea for a real mind study -- the mysterious Back Room.I'll decide soon where to begin.Feedback? Comments?
posted by Michael Allen -MRAGLENBROOK at 9:48 PM 0 comments

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